Miami Dolphins @ Las Vegas Raiders
LAS VEGAS - After their shocking 20-23 loss to the now undefeated Las Vegas Raiders, the Miami Dolphins (1-2) opted to have what happened in Vegas stay in Vegas.
Miami, as 7.5 point favorites, stumbled through an uninspired performance like a drunken frat boy looking for one more hand of Hold 'Em at 4:00am. Those frat boys, in their Lacoste t-shirts, open toed sandals, and puka shelled necklaces would have had more success putting points on the board than the Dolphins offense on Sunday afternoon.
"I really have no words," Jalen Hurts said. "I don't want to be reactionary, but we need to change our mindset now or things can get bad quick."
The Miami Owner/GM, visibly upset throughout the game in the stadium, elected to take matters into his own hands after the game.
"In our first season in charge, we released our quarterback at the time, Jimmy Garoppolo, for his ridiculous display of obtuseness as he frolicked into the end zone as we were losing by double-digits," GM EP said. "Now, after this performance, we are electing to release our entire coaching staff. I mean them no ill will, but we need new direction now. This team is built to win now and I believe a change in mindset is all that is holding us back."
Rumors began swirling immediately after the press conference that the team had reached out to former Steelers Wide Receiver and current Florida International Assistant Coach Hines Ward as the team's new Head Coach. Ward, a hard nosed, lunch pail player, is also reported as having reached out to Seattle Seahawks Offensive Line Coach Keli'i Kekuewa to be his Offensive Coordinator along with controversial Baltimore Ravens Linebackers Coach Rob Ryan to become the team's Defensive Coordinator.
Ryan, who phoned into the Scott Van Pelt show after the game, was animated in his excitement to move to South Beach.
"Oh, this is going to be a damn nightmare for the other 31 teams in the NFL," Ryan said. "This team is a (expletive) Ferrari that has been driving like a (expletive) tractor plodding through a pile of (expletive)."
Miami, and their new coaching staff will look to turn their season around next week at home against the Indianapolis Colts.
Green Bay Packers @ San Francisco 49ers
In what was definitely the game of the week, the Green Bay Packers (3-0) outlasted the San Francisco 49ers (2-1) 40-35 on Sunday Night Football. Things looked slow early with the teams exchanging punts through the first quarter of play. It then went from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye.
With San Francisco poised to move down the field after a Drew Lock fumble, Green Bay forced fumble of their own resulting in a Devin Bush scoop and score making in 7-0 Green Bay early. Before the Packer offense made it back to the bench, San Francisco had answered with a Justin Fields deep touchdown pass to Tyler Boyd.
From there, the teams continued to exchange blows in what was truly a back and forth affair. By the time the game had reached the fourth quarter, Green Bay was leading 31-28. The Pack looked like they put the game away after a field goal and a Hunter Henry touchdown made it 40-28. San Francisco wasn't done however, as they quickly marched down the field and scored on a Justin Fields pass to Boyd making it 40-35. James Robinson wasn't about to let the 49ers see the ball again after two tough first down runs and the game was over.
San Francisco's defense struggled in this one after a dominant two game start. Stefon Diggs went off for 193 yards receiving and Robinson moved the chains in key moments, finishing with a 103 yards with two touchdowns.
"Yards were touch to come by tonight," Robinson said. "That's a tough team. We might seem them again."
San Francisco showed they can play with anyone behind Fields and MVP frontrunner Alvin Kamara. That duo rushed for 218 yards and 2 touchdowns combined.
"We didn't do enough today," Fields said. "It's disappointing to take a L at home, but we'll look at the tape, learn, and get ready for Seattle next week."
Green Bay heads home to take on Pittsburgh while San Francisco welcomes the Seahawks for their first division game of the season.
Carolina Panthers @ Houston Texans
The Houston Texans continued their hot start with a slaughter of the Carolina Panthers on Thursday Night Football. Houston (3-0) blew the game wide open early and went on to win 44-17. With quarterback Andy Dalton sidelined with a knee injury, Gardner Minshew took advantage of his time as QB1, throwing for 392 yards, 2 touchdowns and added a rushing TD for good measure.
"We're going to enjoy this one," Minshew said. "Felt like I could have thrown the football over the mountains tonight."
Not lost in the shuffle was the dominant Texans defense. Christian McCaffrey and the Panthers (1-2) looked out of sync on offense and struggled to move the ball. The icing on the cake for Houston was a pick six by cornerback Kyle Fuller.
"They kicked our butts tonight," McCaffrey said. "One of the best in the league I'd say."
Houston hasn't lost a game since week 12 last season. They'll look to keep rolling next week against Buffalo in upstate New York.
